There was a light in the distance, a small, bright light, hovering over the tops of the trees of the forest that stretched on and on, as far as his eyes could see. It seemed to be quivering slightly, twitching up and down, from left to right, sometimes disappearing beneath the thick canopy of the trees for a moment, before reemerging again and resuming its dance.
It fascinated him, this solitary spark, alone amidst the otherwise pitch black night. To him, now, this seemed to represent the general way of things, this impenetrable darkness that surrounded him on all sides, with himself, here, in the castle, the only island of safety in that whole black ocean. Yet, there was this light, far out in the distance…
Out there…that’s where it all was, the darkness, the fear, the horror… Here, in the castle, there wasn’t really any of that. Everyone reacted to the news with the appropriate levels of shock, sorrow, anger, but it was superficial really, none of it was happening here, it was always…out there… out in that wide world that no one ever seemed to really see, and that made it almost as if it wasn’t really happening at all, as if it was just some horror story which kept being told in episodes every now and then before everyone returned to their normal lives.
Yes, every once in a while someone would genuinely be affected, someone would be taken off to be privately informed of some horror which had befallen someone they knew, someone with whom they were close…then it would get real for a little while…but even then, normality would return eventually.
But, as he watched the dancing light, he realised something which was obvious – that they wouldn’t be here forever, in this island of security. One day they would have to leave, have to walk head-on into the darkness itself, out there….
For the war was showing no signs of letting up, neither side seemed to be making any headway, it seemed to simply be dragging on, one horror after another. So, surely, one day he was going to be leaving here, and the darkness would be waiting for him. How could he be safe then? Where would he go? Was this little light real? Or was it just another illusion luring him into a false sense of security?
For in his heart of hearts, he knew it was all real, was all really happening, real people were suffering, and many more would suffer as it went on. There was nothing to guarantee his own safety, no reason why he would avoid the fear, the horror, the suffering, the darkness. He couldn’t just drift on through life, as if it all would simply pass him by, he was going to have to engage with it, turn to look at it in the eye.
It would all require careful planning, of that he was certain. Yet he also knew that he had perhaps the best resource at his disposal right here, in the castle. For the old man was here, his guide, his mentor, and the only one who seemed to know what he was doing, the only one who seemed to have any idea how to fight against this terror, as if he was building on a wealth of experience.
The old man would remain in the castle, of course, yet still would know what to do, what the best course of action was. Yet he felt, as he gazed on at the little light, that there was more than this, more than what he knew now, more than what he had been told thus far. And somehow, he knew that it was up to him to find it for himself, he could not simply rely on being told things by others, those with more knowledge and experience, or even those without, but he, himself, would have to delve in deep to discover the hidden truths of the world, the secrets, the keys that would unlock all of the doors that were currently shutting him in, creating this impenetrable darkness that surrounded him.
Then, the light suddenly disappeared. The darkness seemed to grow, seemed to be getting closer on all sides, his island of safety suddenly seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. It was coming for him, he knew, it was only a matter of time.
And then he realised something – “out there” was actually his destiny. “Out there” was where he truly belonged, his obsession with it, the fact that it was constantly on his mind, now revealed to him that it was because that was where he was meant to be that he felt this way. He wasn’t meant to be here, in the safety of the castle. This wasn’t really home. This was merely a stop-off point for him on his long journey forward. Always forward, always on and on towards…..
His destiny lay “out there”, but to get there, he would need to traverse the infinite realm of “in here”. That was where all of the answers really were, all the knowledge of the universe, locked away inside his own mind. He just needed to find the key, unlock the treasure chest and then, “out there” would come to him, from within, from “in here”.
And it was his destiny, not because it was pre-determined by some power, not because it was written in some old book, not because some ancient seer had uttered some prophetic words, but because he had decided, right now, that it was so.
For that is what destiny really is – what we make it. There is no destiny for those who are inactive, only for the active, for the ones who strive for it, the ones who make it so, who will the future into the present, who will “out there” from “in here”. Only by plunging head first into the abyss, could one achieve anything of worth, anything of value. The suffering in the world is not to be escaped from, but to be revelled in, to be embraced. Through suffering one is strengthened, through suffering one learns more, acquires more knowledge. Through suffering, one becomes…
If you turn away from the darkness, back into the warm light, the comfort and safety of home, then you simply remain as you are. Nothing will change, nothing will happen, you will have no destiny. You will be the last man. But if you run through the fire and into the abyss beyond, then you are the author of your own destiny, you change yourself, you make things happen, you become more than a man…
There was a vast landscape to travel over, mighty oceans to sail, great mountains to climb. And that was all that mattered, moving on, faring forward, not to escape but to engage.
Something was coming. Or someone…himself, perhaps? As he stood there, gazing out over the dark forest towards the mountains beyond, the darkness was broken by the appearance of the rising sun, bathing the world in a low glow. And as the light hit him, a single word came to him, unbidden…
“Soon…”
Omega Synthesis 